Groupon, Living Social and other daily deal websites have been known to drive offline traffic into local business of all kinds. From Yoga studios to Pizza shops, daily deals are a great way to get the word out about your business and create an influx of customers. But did you know that the benefits extend beyond that? Let’s take a look at how these platforms can help your website rankings and increase social media following.

Search Engine Optimization Benefits

A lot of SEOs will argue that backlinks are the key to increasing search engine ranking and I tend to agree. One way to get a quality, one-way link to your website is to run a feature. Groupon, for example, applies SEO techniques to each feature they write. They do this to not only rank well themselves but also to help the business they feature. With contextual links that point back to your website embedded in the copy, an increase in SEO love is sure to occur. Groupon links to a merchant website in several ways. Depending on the quality of your website they may link to it multiple times in one feature and help you rank for several keyword phrases overnight. When a site as large as Groupon links the keyword phrase “Hot Bikram Yoga” to your local Yoga studio, the chances of it moving up the rankings, at least locally, for Hot Bikram Yoga (enter your city here) are likely. The changes in ranking are likely to be dramatic and often generate an increase almost overnight. So consider thinking through how your feature is structured when running a deal and work with your chosen vendor to draft the most SEO friendly feature you can; your SEO will thank you!

Social Media Love

Another benefit to running a feature is the social media buzz that is created. When a feature is created and ran on a site like Groupon, a lot of social media discussion takes place on platforms like Facebook and Twitter. Online reviews will also increase and websites like Yelp and Urban Spoon will burst with new reviews from the people who visited you and took advantage of the offer. It’s common to receive dozens and sometimes even hundreds of new fans or followers as a result of your daily deal feature. So be sure to stay on top of the discussion by engaging with your social media following and making the most of the attention.

In Summary

• A daily deal feature is more than just a way to generate customers.
• A strong website will benefit from the SEO techniques that platforms like Groupon use to promote features.
• Social Media is an important part of a feature so be sure to monitor and engage in the discussion.

In closing, be sure to be picky when deciding which daily deal website you partner with, there are several hundred to choose from these days. My advice would be to focus on the quality of the daily deal and that usually means working with the industry leader. Groupon, LivingSocial, Facebook and now Google all have a platform to run a feature on. Be careful about local start-ups or old-school business models like local coupon mailings that have added daily feature to an archaic business model in an effort to look modern and relevant. These platforms are typically built as a “me-too” and do not have the support or savvy of the larger platforms that strictly focus on daily deals.

Since Groupon & Living Social comprise the lion-share of the local deals space I decided to include some links to relevant articles.

• Break down of a revenue figures for Q4 2011 from the Huffington Post
• 2012 Preidictions from VentureBeat on where the Daily Deal market is headed

And here are some links to helpful resources that are official corporate resources of Groupon and LivingSocial

• Find out how Groupon works
• Find out how LivingSocial works

I’ve personally consulted with local businesses on which route to take. Groupon seems to outsell LivingSocial in terms of volume. Living Social also seems to have less technology available when it comes to redeeming vouchers. In doing some research it also appears that only 20% of Groupon subscribers receive a LivingSocial email for daily deal notifications while 60% of LivingSocial people also subscribe to Groupon. This means that more people from LivingSocial also subscribe to Groupon than vice-versa. Probably because Groupon tends to run more deals, thus keeping people interested, longer.

Feel free to weigh in with a comment on your experience with a daily deal platform.

For example, I know of about a dozen restaurants in Cleveland that have great brands but very few customers. Don’t get me wrong, these places serve incredible cuisine. But the thing is, Cleveland is somewhat of a seasonal dining city. People go out year-round, but the bulk of revenue is more than likely earned between May and October.  I’m talking fine dining–not some burger joint or pizza place; I’m talking about $22-$38 a plate type places and up. These places are not “let’s swing by X and grab a bite instead of making dinner” kind of places. These specific restaurants are destination places meant to not only provide delicious food but to also indulge the consumer in an experience.

Yet these places fail at introducing new customers to the experience they’ve become known for. Instead, they get their repeat, loyal customers, who probably visit once every 90 days. These people have probably been coming to your restaurant for years, maybe decades but the truth is, they’re not helping you generate any new business. They’re already loyal to you–what you need are more people, just like them, to help you usher in a new generation and wave of clientele.

What’s even funnier is I live on a street where one of these places exists. No names please but this place continues to iterate that their brand is Top Shelf, yet I drive by it every. single. day and hear crickets when I go past. When I offer marketing opportunities, I get “does not match our brand”. I laugh, because I work with Laut and Michelin rated businesses regularly and this particular place does not come close to the brand equity that these other places have in their respected markets.

I guess my point is that branding and brand building, is sort of a waste of time. These days, brands are built on transparency and authenticity and usually by consumers with reviews and the like. Furthermore, not much else has changed from the old days either, social media is pretty much word-of-mouth advertising and if you’re not involved in that conversation then shoot yourself now–you’re pretty much dead.

Bottom line, you might have a “brand” but do you have customers?

Social networks are what are called “pull” marketing services, meaning they pull people into them with content, resources etc…

Most companies have realized that “pull” is the way to go. Those that have not still follow the “push” marketing model which includes email newsletters and the like.

Push marketing is similar to SPAM. Here is my take on it. Sure, I may subscribed to your measly newsletter at some point, probably impulsively but to be honest I never read it. In fact, you are wasting your time trying to reach me this way, I already get too much email. Besides, I’ve read enough online newsletters or “ezines” to realize that all they do anymore is push products and advertising I can find on my own – I want information not marketing.

How do I find information?

Usually, if I am passionate about the topic I join a group. In the real World this might mean I join Kiwanis, Toastmasters or heck even A.A.

In the digital World I join LinkedIn, Facebook or FindVirtual. These digital communities become my source for information. Usually, it is unbiased and presented by members of the community I trust – so I go back often.

How does this help your brand or company?

It does several things. First, it eliminates the SPAM you keep bothering people with. So right away they appreciate you. Second, it gives people a hub to bookmark and come back to. Third, it gives the power of the information shared back to the people, where it belongs, democracy at it’s finest. Finally, it builds trust.

There are hundreds of benefits, could go on forever. But that is where my services come into play. I have helped build social networks for media companies, small businesses and entrepreneurs to help them become thought leaders.

The World is changing, specifically in Digital marketing. People don’t want to have their door knocked on (which is essentially what an email is) they would rather come over to your house and hang-out (which is what a social network is).

I could go on forever about why social networks should be built into every Web site…

Here are some resources: Tribes is a book written by former Yahoo! marketing executive Seth Godin. Some say he is the father of Digital marketing. You can check out his book here.

I also provide consulting services to help companies implement social networks effectively to build their brand and increase audience reach. Get in touch to set-up a time to chat.

A virtual assistant or virtual employee is a person who can help you in your everyday business. In the last few years as an entrepreneur I’ve learned to accept what my strengths are and what my weaknesses are. Understanding what my weaknesses were led me to the single most powerful idea I’ve ever had since starting my business. The idea was to hire a virtual assistant.

After reading the well known book “The 4-Hour-Workweek” by Tim Ferris I quickly grasped the power and freedom a virtual assistant could provide.

Almost immediately I began a search to find a virtual assistant. I was amazed at the sheer volume of people that have chosen this virtual position as a career path. Even more shocking to me was that some of these virtual employees have been doing this for years. Some have even built their practice into a full-time business, creating jobs for other virtual employees as well.

I interviewed 6 candidates, all of which were from different continents than myself. I settled on a gal named Sonia from Chandigarh, India who was polite, proactive and most of all persuasive. She comforted me in the fact that she could handle the tasks that I had earmarked for virtual assistance.

Sonia started that same day. She began by finishing one of my websites for me. The website was previously being worked on by an American firm that was not only overrated but overpriced. In fact, for 1/8th the price and in a matter of days, the website that was dragging on and on for months was now completed. I was amazed.

I attribute this progress to the work ethic that Sonia has and still practices. She is from a place in the world where work ethic is still worth something. Sonia has basically built an entire business for herself based on her reputation and not only has my business, but also the business of many of my colleagues whom I’ve converted to the virtual employee model over the last 12 months.

I share this post with you not to market my own success but to help you achieve your own. As an entrepreneur you need help, we all do, and if I could make a humble recommendation to you, it would be to explore the virtual employee options for your business today.

It almost seems to good to be true, but in fact it is true. Bill managed to increase his twitter following by 20,000 people since early November, 2008. And, he developed this product which makes money directly from this growth, every day. Not only that, but anyone can duplicate what he has done and make money every day. Check out this video to learn more, it is called the Twitter traffic machine software, kind o cheesy I know.

Resource #2 is a short ebook that has a few gems in it. The ebook goes for $5 and is worth the read. Learn how to target Twitter niches and also how to determine what the best times of the day to tweet are depending on that niche. I enjoyed it, here is the link, The $5 Twitter trick.

Resource #3 is completely free and is pretty cool too. It is a software designed to automate affiliate tweeting. It teaches you how to profit from affiliate marketing leveraging twitter. Here is the link to the video viral tweets.

Resource #4 is a great tool to help you capture leads via twitter. Learn how to market your small business on twitter properly. Generate leads and build an audience in your industry. Here is the link to check out twitter lead generation.

Resource #5 is an authoritative guide to marketing your brand or niche With twitter. 11 Video’s, 4 PDF’s, 2 Mindmaps, And a 20 Minute Audio Session, All conveniently located in a members area for viewing or download. The most comprehensive twitter guide on the Internet. Here is a link to check out twitter rockstar.

According to a recent Nielsen and Webvisible study, 82% of consumers & small businesses use search to find information online but only 44% of small businesses have web sites & half of those spend less than 10% of their marketing budgets online.

The changing trends in information production, distribution and consumption by consumers coupled with the uncertain times we live in create an unprecedented challenge for companies to better reach and engage with their customers.

Companies are responding to these changes in different ways. A recent epsilon CMO Study reports that “Nearly two-thirds (65%) of CMOs and marketing execs say their ad budgets will decrease because of the troubled economy, but more of their money will go toward digital/interactive marketing than before”.

According to the The DMA ‘Power of Direct Marketing’ report, “Expenditures in the newer online media will maintain significant growth in the coming year” and “internet advertising will claim more than 15% of all direct marketing advertising dollars in 2009.”

Whether the changes in marketing direction are motivated as a response to market and industry conditions, changing consumer behaviors or the need to stay competitive and cost effective, one thing is certain: companies that don’t nail down marketing efficiencies and customer retention are in for a long, cold winter.

Finding more efficient and effective ways to reach customers through digital marketing is what savvy Internet marketing companies like TopRank do best. Whether it’s expanding market share through broader exposure via search engines, building influence and reputation through online public relations or better connecting with customers through social media, now is the time for businesses large and small, to develop strategies that make the most out of the effiencies and measurable impact from marketing online.

Article Source: AllBusiness.com care of Lee Odden

The service is a platform that when given keywords, generates real content, articles, for your domain name. So lets say you own Virtual-Assistant-Information.com. You could program this platform with keywords that are relevant to the virtual assistant industry. Keywords like: virtual assistant, outsourcing, etc…

The system then posts the articles for you, in real time. What makes it even cooler is you can also write custom posts or pages. So if you are thinking about blogging then try this, right out of the gate you can have up to 500 articles posted on your blog, making it look so much more real.

Furthermore, all of that content starts to bring in traffic. You can then link back to your main site or do whatever. For creative people the options are endless.

This company has been around for awhile and they just relaunched about 2 weeks ago. The new launch features over 20 new templates that make it easy to get your site live and looking good quickly.

So here is the link again: http://tinyurl.com/easy-micro-sites
Scope it out when you have time.

The Big Lebowski: Well, aren’t you?
The Dude: Well… yeah.
The Stranger: Darkness warshed over the Dude – darker’n a black steer’s tookus on a moonless prairie night. There was no bottom.
[after reporting the stolen car]
The Dude: Do you find them much, these, stolen cars?
Younger Cop: Sometimes. Wouldn’t hold out much hope for the tape deck though.
Older Cop: Or the Creedence.
Walter Sobchak: Now so far, we have what appears to me to be a series of victimless crimes.
The Dude: What about the toe?
Walter Sobchak: Forget about the fucking toe!
Coffee Shop Waitress: Excuse me, sir. Could you please keep your voices down? This is a family restaurant.
Walter Sobchak: Oh please, dear? For your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint.
[while dunking the Dude's head in the toilet]
Blond Treehorn Thug: Where’s the money, Lebowski? Where’s the fucking money, shithead?
The Dude: It’s uh… uh… it’s down there somewhere, let me take another look.
The Dude: Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not “Mr. Lebowski”. You’re Mr. Lebowski. I’m the Dude. So that’s what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.
Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong?
The Dude: No you’re not wrong.
Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong?
The Dude: You’re not wrong Walter. You’re just an asshole.
Walter Sobchak: All right then.
The Dude: My only hope is that the big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off.
Walter Sobchak: And look at it this way Dude, who’s got a million fucking dollars in their trunk? Huh?
The Dude: Their trunk?
Walter Sobchak: Who’s got a million fucking dollars in their fucking car? And whadda they got? My dirty undies… my fucking whites…
[They walk out of the bowling alley and see the Dude's car gone]
Walter Sobchak: Dude, where is your car?
The Dude: Fuck…
Walter Sobchak: It was parked in a handicapped zone, perhaps they towed it.
The Dude: You fucking know its been stolen.
Donny: Who’s got your undies Walter?
Nihilist: We believe in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing. And tomorrow we come back and we cut off your chonson.
The Dude: Excuse me?
Nihilist: I said
[shouting]
Nihilist: We’ll cut off your johnson!
Nihilist #2: Just think about that, Lebowski.
Nihilist: Yeah, your wiggly penis, Lebowski.
Nihilist #3: Yeah and maybe we stomp on it and squoosh it, Lebowski.
The Dude: [on the phone] Of course the car made it home, you’re calling me at home. No, Walter, it did NOT look like Larry was about to crack!
[being shown a picture Bunny's old farm home]
The Dude: Oh boy. How ya gonna keep ‘em down on the farm once they’ve seen Karl Hungus.
Walter Sobchak: Whereas what we have here? A bunch of fig-eaters wearing towels on their heads, trying to find reverse in a Soviet tank. This is not a worthy adversary.
Younger Cop: And was there anything of value in the car?
The Dude: Oh, uh, yeah, uh… a tape deck, some Creedence tapes, and there was a, uh… uh, my briefcase.
Younger Cop: [expectant pause] In the briefcase?
The Dude: Uh, uh, papers, um, just papers, uh, you know, uh, my papers, business papers.
Younger Cop: And what do you do, sir?
The Dude: I’m unemployed.
Malibu Police Chief: Keep your ugly fuckin’ goldbrickin’ ass out of my beach community.
Walter Sobchak: That’s right, Dude, they peed on your fucking rug.
Walter Sobchak: Also, let’s not forget – let’s *not* forget, Dude – that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city – that aint legal either.
The Dude: What are you, a fucking park ranger now?
Walter Sobchak: No, I’m…
The Dude: Who gives a shit about the fucking marmot!
Walter Sobchak: Look at our current situation with that camel fucker over in Iraq. Pacifism is not something to hide behind.
Donny: They posted the next round for the tournament.
Walter Sobchak: Donny, shut the f- when do we play?
The Big Lebowski: Are you employed, sir?
The Dude: Employed?
The Big Lebowski: You don’t go out looking for a job dressed like that? On a weekday?
The Dude: Is this a… what day is this?
The Big Lebowski: Well, I do work sir, so if you don’t mind…
The Dude: I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
[the Nihilists invade the Dude's bathroom accompanied by a trained rodent]
The Dude: Hey, nice marmot!
The Dude: Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man.
Malibu Police Chief: Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town. You don’t draw shit, Lebowski. Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don’t like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Lebowski. I don’t like your jerk-off name. I don’t like your jerk-off face. I don’t like your jerk-off behavior, and I don’t like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?
The Dude: [after a pause] I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening.
Bunny Lebowski: Blow on them.
The Dude: You want me to blow on your toes?
Bunny Lebowski: I can’t blow that far.
The Dude: [looks at man lazing in the pool] Are you sure he won’t mind?
Bunny Lebowski: Uli doesn’t care about anything. He’s a Nihilist.
The Dude: Ah, that must be exhausting.
The Dude: This is the fuckin’ guy! I can find this fuckin’ Lebowski guy!
Donny: His name’s Lebowski? That’s your name, Dude!
The Dude: Yes, Walter, you’re right. There is an unspoken message here. It’s “FUCK YOU, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!” Yeah, I’ll be at practice.
The Dude: Who the fuck are you, man?
Knox Harrington: [giggles] Oh, just a friend of Maudie’s.
The Dude: Yeah, a friend with a cleft asshole?
Maude Lebowski: Uli Kunkol? Her co-star in the beaver picture?
The Dude: Beaver? Uhhhh, you mean vagina…? I mean, you know the guy?
Maude Lebowski: Oh, I might have introduced them for all I know.
[looks at Knox]
Maude Lebowski: You remember Uli?
Knox Harrington: Mmmmm.
Walter Sobchak: Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors… and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and… up to… Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.
The Dude: At least I’m housebroken.
[first lines]
The Stranger: [voiceover] Way out west there was this fella I wanna tell ya about. Goes by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. See, this Lebowski, he called himself “The Dude”. Now, “Dude” – there’s a name no man would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that’s why I found the place so darned interestin’. See, they call Los Angeles the “City Of Angels”; but I didn’t find it to be that, exactly. But I’ll allow it as there are some nice folks there. ‘Course I ain’t never been to London, and I ain’t never seen France. And I ain’t never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I’ll tell you what – after seeing Los Angeles, and this here story I’m about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin’ every bit as stupefyin’ as you’d seen in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin’ like the good Lord gypped me. Now this here story I’m about to unfold took place in the early ’90s – just about the time of our conflict with Sad’m and the I-raqis. I only mention it because sometimes there’s a man… I won’t say a hero, ’cause, what’s a hero? Sometimes, there’s a man. And I’m talkin’ about the Dude here – the Dude from Los Angeles. Sometimes, there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s the Dude. The Dude, from Los Angeles. And even if he’s a lazy man – and the Dude was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in all of Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin’ for laziest worldwide. Sometimes there’s a man, sometimes, there’s a man. Well, I lost my train of thought here. But… aw, hell. I’ve done introduced it enough.
The Dude: [looking at a picture of the Little Lebowski Urban Acheivers] And these are uh…
Brandt: Oh, those are Mister Lebowski’s children.
The Dude: Different mothers.
Brandt: No…
The Dude: So racially, he’s pretty cool?
The Dude: I’m sorry your stepmother is a nympho.
The Dude: Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you’re going to have to face the fact you’re a goddamn moron.
The Big Lebowski: Start talking and talk fast you lousy bum.
Brandt: We’ve been frantically trying to reach you, Dude.
The Big Lebowski: Where is my goddamn money you bum?
The Dude: Just take it easy man.
Walter Sobchak: I’m perfectly calm Dude.
The Dude: [shouting] Yeah, waving the fucking gun around?
Walter Sobchak: Calmer than you are.
The Dude: Will you just take it easy?
Walter Sobchak: Calmer than you are.
The Dude: Ah, fuck it.
The Big Lebowski: Fuck it! Yes! That’s your answer. That’s your answer for everything! Tattoo it on your forehead!
The Dude: Oh, fuck me, man! That kid already spent all the money, man!
Walter Sobchak: New ‘Vette? Hardly, Dude. I’d say he’s still got about $960 – $970,000 left, depending on the options.
Walter Sobchak: Life does not stop and start at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit.
Donny: What’s wrong with Walter, Dude?
The Dude: I could be just sitting at home with pee stains on my rug.
[at the funeral parlor]
Walter Sobchak: GOD DAMN IT! Look, just because we’re bereaved, that doesn’t make us saps!
The Dude: I only said I THOUGHT she kidnapped herself. You’re the one who’s so fucking certain!
Walter Sobchak: That’s right, Dude. 100% certain.
Walter Sobchak: Etz chaim he dude, as the ex used to say.
The Dude: What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What the fuck are we gonna tell Lebowski?
Walter Sobchak: Huh?
[blows out a cloud of smoke]
Walter Sobchak: Oh, him! Er…
[mutters incoherently]
Walter Sobchak: What exactly is the problem?
The Dude: Well, the problem is… W-what do you mean “what’s the”… umph… Th-there was no… We d- we didn’t eh… uhumph… They’re gonna kill that poor woman! Man!
Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? That poor woman… that poor SLUT kidnapped herself. Come on dude, you said so yourself.
The Dude: Man…! I said I THOUGHT she kidnapped herself… YOU’RE the one who’s so fucking certain!
Walter Sobchak: That’s right dude. One hundred percent certain.
The Dude: Look, nothing is fucked, here, man.
The Big Lebowski: Nothing is fucked?
[shouting]
The Big Lebowski: The god damn plane has crashed into the mountain!
Walter Sobchak: Now that is just ridiculous, Dude. Nobody is going to cut your dick off. Not if I have anything to say about it.
The Dude: Thank you Walter, that makes me feel very secure, it makes me feel very warm inside.
Walter Sobchak: Is this your homework, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude: Look, man…
Walter Sobchak: Dude, please? Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude: Just ask him about the car.
Walter Sobchak: Is this yours, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude: Is that your car out front?
Walter Sobchak: Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude: We know it’s his fucking homework! Where’s the fucking money, you little brat?
Walter Sobchak: Look, Larry. Have you ever heard of Vietnam?
The Dude: Oh, for Christ’s sake, Walter…
Walter Sobchak: You’re entering a world of pain, son. We know that this is your homework. We know that you stole a car.
The Dude: And the fucking money.
Walter Sobchak: And the fucking money. And, we know that this is your homework.
The Dude: We’re going to cut your dick off, Larry.
Walter Sobchak: You’re killing your father, Larry!
Maude Lebowski: My father’s weakness is vanity, hence the slut.
Walter Sobchak: That’s not her toe, Dude.
The Dude: Then whose toe is it, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: How the fuck should I know?
Jackie Treehorn: People forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone.
The Dude: On you maybe.
The Big Lebowski: Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski. Condolences. The bums lost. My advice is to do what your parents did; get a job, sir. The bums will always lose. Do you hear me, Lebowski?
[the Dude walks out and shuts the door]
The Big Lebowski: The bums will always lose!
Brandt: How was your meeting, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Okay. The old man told me to take any rug in the house.
Da Fino, Private Snoop: I’m a brother shamus!
The Dude: A brother shamus? Like an Irish monk?
Da Fino, Private Snoop: What the fuck are you talking about?
Da Fino: Well maybe you and me could pool our resources, you know, trade information? Professional courtesy? Compeers, you know?
The Dude: Yeah, yeah, I get it, fuck off Da Fino. And stay away from my special – from my fucking lady friend, man!
The Dude: H-hey, this is a private residence, man!
Maude Lebowski: Now, what happened to your face? Did Jackie Treehorn do that as well?
The Dude: Ah, no that was the chief of police of Malibu. A real reactionary.
[after the chief of police throws a coffee mug at his head]
The Dude: Ow! Fucking fascist!
The Dude: Your money is being held by a kid named Larry Sellers. Real fucking brat, but I’m sure your goons can get it off him. I mean, he’s fifteen.
[pause]
The Dude: Flunking social studies.
Da Fino: Let me tell ya something – I dig your work. Playing one side against the other, in bed with everybody – just fabulous stuff.
[the Dude has been drugged and is semi-conscious]
The Dude: So if you could just write me my check for ten percent of a half a million… five grand… I’ll go out and mingle.
Walter Sobchak: You know, Dude, I myself dabbled in pacifism once. Not in ‘Nam of course.
The Dude: Then you know he’s got emotional problems, man.
Walter Sobchak: You mean… beyond pacifism?
The Big Lebowski: I just want to understand this, sir. Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the owner?
The Stranger: Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes, well, he eats you.
Brandt: [the Dude is leaving after his first meeting with Lebowski] Well, enjoy. And perhaps we’ll see you again some time, Dude.
The Dude: Yeah, sure, if I’m… in the neighborhood and I, uh… gotta use the john.
The Dude: By the way, do you think that you could give me that $20,000 in cash? My concern is, and I have to, uh, check with my accountant, that this might bump me into a higher, uh, tax…
The Big Lebowski: Brandt, give him the envelope.
The Dude: Oh, you’ve already got the check made out, that’s great.
Jackie Treehorn: Refill?
The Dude: Does the Pope shit in the woods?
[last lines]
The Stranger: Say, friend – you got any more of that good sarsaparilla?
Brandt: You never went to college…
The Dude: Oh, no I did, but I spent most of my time occupying various administration buildings… smoking a lot of thai stick… breaking into the ROTC… and bowling. To tell you the truth Brandt, I don’t remember most of it.
The Dude: We dropped off the damn money…
The Big Lebowski: We?
The Dude: I! The Royal “we”! You know, the editorial…
Walter Sobchak: [looking at his hero writer Digby Sellers in an iron lung] Does he still write?
Pilar, Sellers’ Housekeeper: Oh no no, he has health problems.
Maude Lebowski: The story is ludicrous.
The Big Lebowski: Did I urinate on your rug?
The Dude: You mean, did you personally come and pee on my rug?
The Big Lebowski: Do you speak English sir? Parla usted Inglese?
The Dude: Uh, and then, uh, the music business, briefly.
Maude Lebowski: Oh?
The Dude: Yeah. Roadie for Metallica
Maude Lebowski: Oh.
The Dude: Speed of Sound Tour
Maude Lebowski: Mm-hmm.
The Dude: Bunch of assholes.
Donny: I’m throwing rocks tonight. Mark it, Dude.
Auto Circus Cop: [the Dude asks the Auto Circus Cop if there are any leads on who stole his beater car] Leads, yeah, sure. I’ll just check with the boys down at the crime lab, they’ve got four more detectives working on the case. They got us working in shifts!
[laughs]
Auto Circus Cop: Leads!
[laughs as he walks away]
Auto Circus Cop: Leads…
Knox Harrington: So you’re Lebowski. Maudie’s told me all about you. She’ll be back in a moment, sit down. Would you like a drink?
The Dude: [as he sits down] Uh, yeah. White Russian?
Knox Harrington: The bar’s over there.
The Big Lebowski: What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Dude.
The Big Lebowski: Huh?
The Dude: Uhh… I don’t know sir.
The Big Lebowski: Is it being prepared to do the right thing, whatever the cost? Isn’t that what makes a man?
The Dude: Hmmm… Sure, that and a pair of testicles.
The Big Lebowski: Are you surprised at my tears, sir?
The Dude: [Smoking a joint] Dude, fuckin’ A!
The Big Lebowski: Strong men also cry… strong men also cry.
The Dude: What do you do?
Knox Harrington: Oh, nothin’ much.
[giggles]
Walter Sobchak: Fifteen, Dude. This is it. Let’s take that hill!
Maude Lebowski: My father and I don’t get along, he doesn’t approve of my lifestyle and, needless to say, I don’t approve of his. Still, I hardly wish to make my father’s embezzlement a police matter, so I’m proposing that you try to recover the money from the people you delivered it to.
The Dude: Well, I could do that…
Maude Lebowski: If you successfully do so, I will compensate you to the tune of 10 percent of the recovered sum.
The Dude: [stunned] A hundred…
Maude Lebowski: Thousand, yes bones or clams or whatever you call them.
The Dude: Hey, no, come on, Walter. We’re ending this thing cheap, man.
Walter Sobchak: No, what’s mine is mine.
Nihilist: No funny shtuff.
The Dude: Alright, alright, I’ve got four dollars, almost five…
Donny: Hey, I got eighteen dollars.
Walter Sobchak: What’s mine is mine.
Nihilist: We fuck you ups, man. We takes the money.
Walter Sobchak: Come and get it.
The Stranger: I like your style, Dude.
The Dude: Well, I dig your style too, man. Got a whole cowboy thing goin’.
The Stranger: Thankee.