A Craving Beyond Mental Control

A craving beyond my mental control—that’s what Dr. Silkworth refers to while explaining the power of alcohol over alcoholics. Throughout the reading, I kept thinking about how bad it has to be before I wind up hospitalized.

Pushing through the hospital line, probably at an E.R. unit, to get help for drinking too much.

Blows my mind.

Yet I’ve done it at least a dozen times. Hootin’ and hollering at nurses and staff while intoxicated is a kind of pastime for me.

I know I’m an alcoholic because once I start drinking, I can’t stop on my own.

The Dr. mentions how vital the spiritual feature is for the treatment of alcoholism. It’s impossible for me to stop drinking until I ask God for help. Once I do that, and invite God to guide me, I am much more open-minded to feedback from my sponsor, counselor, fellow alcoholic, etc.

To get that separation I need from alcohol, to get back into the Spirit of the Realm, I need medical treatment. I must go to medical detox and totally abstain from alcohol for 3-5 days before I feel connected to God again and receptive to His will.

Several times while drinking, I could see God guiding me through, keeping me from falling too low. It’s amazing what knowledge of the 12 Steps can do to get me back on track with God. When I am ready to surrender to the Drs at a detox, I am done; I have asked God for help, and he led me to the doors of medical professionals.

The Dr. also mentions the altruistic movement.

Without service, I become selfish.

So I need to be aware of the opportunities God is giving to me to exhibit altruistic behavior, specifically with another alcoholic.

As my life begins to pull together, I tend to pull back on altruism. I will hoard my time for my likes and wants, without realizing that’s the worst thing for me to do. Being sober allows me to help other alcoholics in ways that others can’t. I can forget that.

Dr. Silkworth breaks down the essential roles of mental, physical, and spiritual fitness. These are my buckets in life. It’s important that I place spiritual fitness ahead of all others. Without it, mental and physical health are far less attainable.

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